It’s the most bizarre experience next to the NDE at age four: I’m back in my home town, even back under the roof where I grew up. I’m seeing old friends and making new ones. We’re on the verge of summer. I feel my body for the first time. I’m getting glimpses of what life could have – should have – felt like: Innocent. Unencumbered. Carefree. Sensual. I’m feeling my body for the first time in a way I have never felt it before. All I’ve ever felt was distress, anguish, allergies, physical discomfort to the n-th degree. And now there is the promise of summer upon us, upon me, with scents so manifold, so tempting, so sweet I never even had an idea that all this existed. Life …. is – or let’s say can be – one ongoing sensation of sensuality with each following sensation trumping the previous one. It truly is a miracle, a gift, one I had no idea existed.
How bizarre. I’ve lived to see half a century. And haven’t lived at all. Until now. (Hopefully).