Trauma Resolved?

The “common” Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is usually brought about by a singular traumatic event. Not so the so-called complex post-traumatic stress disorder, which is a much more complex experience usually involving a series of traumatic events and/or a series of retraumatizing experiences. (on a side note: It appears to me that the scienctific characterization of the latter is still somewhat obscure and not specific enough in terms of safely defining its onset and symptoms. For the record: My early and later history involves both singular traumatic events from as early as infant ages as well as way into my childhood and even teenage days. It also involves the characteristics of those situations that science so far acknowledges as “prolonged, repeated trauma” [my addition: where we apparently still don’t know to what extent more single traumatic events during the period of prolonged repeated trauma factor in]).

However: I think, I can check off at least one series of repeated events from my kindergarten days. As a kid of 4 years of age – 1 year junior to all the other kids – I got bullied and beaten by a gang of thugs in kindergarten – every day. Their former gang leader still lives in my birthplace (about five decades have passed since). I actually visited my birthplace the other day and spent a night out at a local live music concert, hanging out with my sister and her hubbie. Turns out the bully approaches our table and starts speaking to my brother-in-law, conveniently ignoring me and pretending he didn’t know who I was. Again, for the record: I sat there with the bully leaning over the table, speaking right in front of my face and … my pulse remained all calm and steady. No more trauma symptoms from that experience. But there’s tens more I’m still haunted by. What can I say: It’s a process. And the medical establishment in my country is very ill-equipped to address any of it. ANY FUCKING PIECE OF IT!

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