A couple of nights ago when channel surfing the TV, I happened upon above linked movie. I paused for a second as it looked interesting for reasons of lighting, costumes, setting, very much like a fairy tale for viewers of all ages. Seeing as I was coming around from a severe, potentially life threatening allergic reaction to a medication I was administered many times before on account of my hyperuricemia with occasional inflammations in the joints, I was spiritually drained to the point of a meltdown and felt I needed to restore my spirit by watching something that looked uplifting and inspirational. I had already started watching a different movie, so I decided to record this one and watch it later.
Last night I did watch it with better focus until about half way through (I enjoy saving up a bit in order to have something to look forward to 😉 ). And what can I say: I almost sat there with my jaw dropped to the floor from almost beginning to “end” for the personal significance of the script! Of course, you can always say it’s fiction and I shouldn’t make too much of it. But … someone wrote the script and telling from the depths at which the writers probe the emotional landscape of some unconventional – or “troubled” – teens-to-be, I don’t think it’s too big a stretch of imagination or reasoning to conclude that they must have woven in some authentic material of their own childhood. (and as I type this and peruse the movie’s details, my assumption is corroborated by an according reference made by director Wes Anderson).
But I’m beginning to digress. The personal link to the movie’s script is for a number of reasons, of course. However, the part that got me so impressed was that for the first time – or so it feels – I find something confirmed to me, which so far I felt I’d never have a chance to see corroborated, which is the empirically found fact that groups of people have this tendency to single anyone out who displays only the slightest aberration from what may be considered the mainstream of any given group. “Big deal”, you might think, “that’s basic social or behavioral psychology.” Ok, I’ll give you that. Yet, it seems you can always only know the reasons for getting singled out from a 3rd party, like e.g. a therapist, a researcher or just anyone outside the group. You never get to hear it directly (at least, I haven’t in my entire life). However, in this movie, Sam confronts his peers about this and gets a pretty direct, fairly devastating answer from one of the group members with some klout.
Where’s the significance in that for me? Well, you could say it’s entirely my story as well, pretty much from the get-go. Other than Sam, though, I never had as healthy a relationship with self as Sam does, albeit adopted at first, then dumped by his adoptive parents. I may not be an adoptee – but felt so alienated from bio family for my entire time living there that I often wished someone else would have adopted me so I could leave the dreaded and often terrifying environment behind. (I never considered running away, though, as I even knew then that police or just about anyone would pick me up and take me back, which I feared would have made things even far worse for me). So in that particular scene, when Sam directly asks Redford why they don’t like him, I find I get an answer to that same question that has plagued me for a long time and the reasons of which seem to have derailed my life to the current point of disability and social isolation at large. I pretty much knew it was something about me – but things or qualities I can’t seem to control or modify as they seem so deeply ingrained in my system that those aspects seem to define who I am. And yet – I’m fully aware that those counterproductive aspects are outcomes of my personal history, the nature of which can only be described as one long and huge existential crisis.
Here’s to hoping, the second half of the film offers a perspective as how to overcome this. If not that, I actually and seriously might have to consider going down that Ayahuasca or other plant medicine route as well…
Update: Haha! Watched the second part: What a hilariously weird flick! 😀 Island Police, now? Nawwwwww 🙂