Is there a threshold for humiliation at which a human being loses their humanity and turns 360° monster? Is there a maxing out on setbacks a person can take in their life before they lose the very vibe that keeps them going since birth? Is there a situation more embarrassing than going to a dick-sizing contest with a crippled member (figuratively speaking)?
It’s been 30+ years since I graduated from High School. Wow. Thirty. At some point that was the entire amount of time I had been on the planet. Now there’s that plus another few decades of life span – a life that, in retrospect, is beginning to look more and more like it was designed to go downhill with a vengeance. You hear about these people raised by crack addicts, alcoholics, drug dealers, inmates. I don’t think I’d have too much in common with those people. And then I have a moment of reality check – and realize: I do. I have more in common with them than I’d like to admit to.
Ok. 30+. or 50+, whichever way you play it. I’ve heard about a few of them and where they’ve landed in life so far. Some fared well, some struggled, some hit the jack pot. Some died. None of them will possibly be able to answer this simple question: Why are we doing this to begin with? What’s the ultimate idea other than sizing each other up for a magnitude of reasons? What is everybody expecting to feel like when walking away from this? Reassured, self-asserted, upbeat, depressed, destitute? What’s the idea behind these gatherings?
One of the girls who graduated with me – she wasn’t in the “All A’s” list, but close – replied: “I firmly expect your attendance.” Is this nice? Is it a bland formula of social code delivered to each other in these types of situations? (It’s the latter as I made sure of now) Is there a shred of honesty shining through?
I have more questions than anyone could probably deal with about this. I have a lot of questions, but absolutely zero accomplishments. Because going “I was born in the wrong place for all the wrong reasons, got abandoned, abused and then some, but I’m still here and haven’t killed anyone” won’t go on the list of life accomplishments.
Too bad. I think, I’ve answered my many questions right there.