I am so tired of people saying “You are exactly where you are supposed to be”, no matter what someone’s life circumstances and challenges. Yes, there is no question that we can often learn something of value wherever we are on the path, and yes, we may have, in some situations, attracted the exact challenge that we need to grow, BUT that does not mean that we are ALWAYS where we are supposed to be or that we chose our reality. Telling that to someone in every situation- even when they are ill or suffering tremendously- is arrogant, and adds insult to injury. Sometimes we need a kick in the ass, and sometimes we are just a victim of terrible circumstances. Sometimes our suffering is needless and the result of other people’s wrongdoing. Compassion demands that we hold the space for other’s challenges with a wide open heart. Let them decide if they are exactly where they are supposed to be. It’s not for us to say.”
I’d like to take it a step further: “Owning your shit” often means owning their shit, too – the shit of those, who did you wrong when there was no reason for it other than their own unprocessed shit. Is it really a sign of spiritual or human maturity to volunteer carrying other’s baggage, in particular when they are strong enough to carry their own shit…?