Is it possible to recover from rape and sexual abuse? Yes and No

I have to issue a strong trigger warning in regards to this article. However, I find it to be a genius summary of all the relevant aspects, outcomes and particular challenges resulting from abuse and ensuing PTSD. Also, I can’t help but conclude more and more often that the outcomes of abuse – regardless(?) of the specific nature of the abuse, tentatively speaking – are essentially all very similar – if not the same. At least from my experience I can attest to all of the manifestations mentioned in the article at one or the other time in my own journey. I am not aware that I was a victim of sexual (child) abuse, but reading Dr. Kerr’s article almost leads me to believe that I must have been…. and this based on the experience that I went through all of what the persons quoted in the article went through themselves (including Dr. Kerr, as far as I understand it). Well – like I said: An informative piece, but hard to digest. Read at your own discretion, please.

Is it possible to recover from rape and sexual abuse? Yes and No.

P.S. At this point I share Dr. Kerr’s belief that I may never fully come around from the trauma I experienced and the outcomes it left me dealing with. The events happened too early and they seem ingrained too deeply due to multiple retraumatization at later, crucial times of an individual’s emotional and psychological development. So I’m trying my best to not freak out over this finding…. and like she says in closing, I (try to) remain open to the possibility of complete healing. Until seeing below embedded video, I was left to believe that a person can’t be completely cured from trauma. But listening very closely to what Rachel Hope shares in this candid account of her own healing through MDMA-assisted psychotherapy sessions gives me – lame pun semi-intended…  – H/hope 😉

Find the full article containing this video here.

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9 thoughts on “Is it possible to recover from rape and sexual abuse? Yes and No

  1. I believe the answer is yes to recovery…what I needed to see was the threat is not in the past. The threat is here and now. It is reification, alienation, hidden oppression. ..and every time I went running to find the trauma from the past, I realized it was another gaslight go round. It is so convincing..it js how we stay stuck. Look, I will be frank.The people who do not react emotionally with “ptsd” like “symptoms are either cold nonfeelers or they have recovered and see through the socially constructed bull that makes billions for experts and big pharma. At Mad in America websight there is a cool thread i hope you will take some time to study.because it reveals the petrified rhetoric of an expert jp against a guy with some real recovery. He stands his ground, the expert uses classic crazymaking discourse to try and throw him off and make him feel doubt and shame. It is pathetic to see how they try to disguise their weaknesses as strengths and vive versa.
    Here is one, please read the comments too.

    http://www.madinamerica.com/2014/06/ode-biological-psychiatry

    Look, I was raped and beaten every which way and back from early life. That does not cause current reactions, trust me, at least trust please that i am speaking the truth in my own lived experience.. what is hirrifying now is a social reality whereby many if not most of the people you meet will be…no real feelings, no remorse, etc..these foks triggered me until I learned hoe to spot them and out con them with simple logic. Gthey use psychotic logic, double speak, etc…and their rhetoric is discordant with their embodied discourse. The reason it is so upsetting is because the Life-world behaves exactly like a psychopatjic predator, and it has “recruits” that tell you your perceptions are wrong, not trusr worthy, coming from tthe pastzzzbut the threat is here and now. And we are bnot little kids. We can learn to see the pathetic weaknesses disquised as strengths, and not be taken in yet again. The experts are losing power…so they are escalating, with bullshit articles that tempt you to get sidetraccked, to doubt yourrself….to fee.lbroken or damaged…look at the con artist rhetoric..look for the patterns.

    God damn it. Friend. You are real. Your life is now. This is not a program. You are not like your perps. They may have done all in their power to keep you from separating emotionally…but you are not them. You are not like them. You have a power that you have barely begun to tapp into. Dont let anyone take this chance at llife from you. It is your turn. You get to be yourself. I promise.

    Give it some thought. Let me know what you see. Read tge Gnoll credo (not the whole book, just the part about who will betray you…)

    Maybe you don’t want me to fight for you like this…and if that is the case, I will back off.

    But consider the possibility that there is more going on than meets the gaze at first …
    if you have questions as ask…i cannot bear to see you miss this chance to be yourself. I am so convinced in your goodness andin your ability to thrive, I want you to consider what you need to givve you the time required to recognize the patterns and to acquire immunity. If you need to have a recovery partner, I am here. I f you want to come stay for awhile, here, we could figure that out. I trust you can learn what you need, not to survive but to thrive.

    If I have overstepped, forgive me. I believe that You are a fine man who is exceptionally smart and also highly sensitive to domination. You have a chance to be free. You can turn that sensitivity into a strength. Please ask, and you will receive.

    And if i should better be shoving off now, because i have overstepped, i go, with no hard feelings. Only with belief in you, belief in your goodness. Its sad that your kind of integrity is rare. But that is that. You really are one of ghe good guys. I hope you will remember. You deserve to be rescued, and to participare in saving your life.

    Im an old softy, true, but you are a young one—what a chance awaits…

    (((Hugs)))

    • My husband believes in you too…and his whole chidhood, starting with surgery for a double hernia in infancy, was even more brutal than mine. He is recovering too. He is becoming free. It is a sight to behold… 🙂

  2. By the way, the Gnoll Credo is the Gnoll’s description of how they survive in a world full of humans who would kill all the Gnolls if they could.

    Sounds remarkably like the bottom line values of capitalism…?

    Sorry. Boring night…

    • I guess i will leave you with thiss thought, then of course i gotta let go, and trust you…trust that you WILL find your way, in YOUR way…:-)

      Just consider what it might mean for your life… for You to become your own best, most loyal, and trusted friend….even when yyour best friend seems contrary….frankly, if you are your best friend…you are a blessed man…

      Ok. I am off. Gonna spend time with my children….i am happy…

  3. Hi Ruby, thank you for your kind words and your passion for the mission of liberating ourselves/us from the deception that once was pulled over our eyes. As for that: I’m good in that regard. I’ve done a lot of work on that, following nothing but my own gut feelings, my heart, my intuitions and my narrative (and not the “experts'” advice at all… at least not any more, as they turned out to be anything BUT experts in regards to my personal history… with maybe one sole, compassionate exception in a time spanning decades). And I simply WON’T HAVE any revictimization from anyone and for anything any more. Guess that means that I’ve become quite good now when it comes to standing my ground and living and expressing MY truth – regardless of whether or not it’s a “pallatable” one. To put it In more technical terms: I guess that means that my self-esteem and my sense of self-worth/value no longer hinges on the false narrative that others/perps/scheming “experts”/society tried very hard to impose on me. Admitted, there are times, when those demons of the past try to take another stab at taking me down – but I now catch them early enough not to let them go through with that. So, I guess I managed to move that particular roadblock (at least for now 😉 ).

    Other than that, I think I need to clarify my reasons for posting this blog and especially Dr. Kerr’s article behind the link and embedded in my post: I guess, I meant to say that I was not all sure until about a year ago as to whether or not I – or anyone for that matter – could come around from trauma 100%. Or even more specifically: Before learning of Rachel Hope’s amazing recovery, I had arrived at the belief that trauma can’t be completely overcome at all, because it attaches to that part of our brain and nervous system, which activates the fight-flight-freeze-reflex (and how many people are capable of controlling or intercepting their reflexes….? I wouldn’t know of any). However, Rachel Hope’s account of her journey and recovery sold me on the existing possibility that, yes, there can be complete recovery! In fact, listening to what she shares in the interview and watching her now lets us meet a self-assured, emotionally stable, witty and often times quite jocular person, who comes across as 100% authentic and more importantly: Feeling comfortable in her own skin! So, I guess, I meant to contrast Dr. Kerr’s article with Rachel Hope’s interview in that the first expresses a hope for recovery, while the latter clearly demonstrates a recovered person! You see? And in doing so, I guess I somehow “encoded” shifting my position from being skeptical about 100% recovery – but remaining hopeful and open about it, nonetheless – to a firm conviction now that 100% healing is a doable, accessible option! (Either through the kind of treatment Rachel received or maybe even by going to an Ayahuasca retreat center and undergoing the kind of transformation Amber Lyon reports, which actually spawned the creation of her platform reset.me).

    The bottomline I meant to express is this: A person can be healed from trauma (!) (because I have no doubt that Rachel is healed, so she is “proof” enough of that for me, especially in light of her past history) and doesn’t have to “settle” for managing the outcomes (which many more conventional “therapies” offer as the predominant or even only way of treating trauma. On that note: Please don’t get me started on “prolonged exposure thereapy”, which I think should be forbidden by law and met with lawsuits for compensation for those having had to undergo this ordeal… Retraumatizing a person until become a zombie doesn’t spell like “healing” in my book.). As for myself, I am not aware of any studies being conducted by maps.org in my vicinity (maps.org is the organization that funded Rachel Hope’s treatment). In fact, the only available person in Europe offering the kind of treatment that cured Rachel is a Swiss doctor – and I already knew of him and have contacted him. But he currently doesn’t have a study going on and his waiting list for personal, outpatient treatment is very long (and I might not be able to afford it, as my health insurance plan wouldn’t cover it). Other than that, Amber Lyon talks about how Ayahuasca ceremonies healed her from her own PTSD. I can’t afford a trip to the Amazon jungle, either. For now, I will take stock, faith and patience of/from the fact that a 100% recovery is possible at all – that’s a huge encouragement and uplifting message as far as I’m concerned! That’s the main point I meant to make here. 🙂 And I’m even bold enough to think that I might get there on my own, if I continue on that path of listening very closely to the very clear and unmistakeable signals and messages that my body, my heart and my own mind are sending me like little, but powerful hints and directions towards recovery – aaaaaand if I steadfastly and almost stubbornly (selfishly?) keep looking for and finding good ways of applying these hints and lessons in such a way that I make healthy choices for myself – one step at a time, one day after another. So… all things considered, I think I’m (quite) good and hope to get better and better! But thanks so much for your support and meaning to lend a hand! 😀 (even in practical terms) Hugs, w.

    (P.S. I’d like to express my sympathy for your husband’s history; and I see a little bit of synchronicity there, too)

  4. Cool. Gotcha. I apologize if i seemingly put you in the position of needing to explain to me, or reassure me. That is fucked up, on my part, if the case, which appears to be a pattern I am understanding now as inherently controlling. Ugh. This is not so much a confession, as a recognition of part of the central problem or barrier to freedom.

    It looks like I will be hitting the road soon, and leaving the life I had mistakenly envisioned as my own. An urban destination seems imperative at this point, for I need the embodied social interaction to sustain “movement”—life lived fully—also known as “recovery”. The TV series The Walking Dead, WW Z, Body Snatcher genres, and other so-called dystopian fiction (as with so much art in general) have suggested to me the futility of fighting against/for beings who cannot hear, see, feel, etc (NOT referencing you, here, to be clear) qua humans as I understand humanity. At this time, I realize I am safer and stronger with total strangers…the impossibility of escaping the social looping within long term relationships of mutual bondage (i.e. with others not sure/able how to live honestly and hence to behave humanely more consistently) not only endangers myself but helps keep others whom I love in a false cage of security.

    Anyway. Appparently, one day at a time I am putting into action the theories I’ve been working on/through. Without the action components, life may as well be a game, dream, or the red/blue pill dillema—neverending. To me, now, those options are more deadly than whatever awaits on the road. It’s weird. I am not alone—for I am with me, and for my need to still live among humanity still thrives. Everything really does become simple, I find, yet of course not easy…courage is reqired and the only way I know to create courage is through actions, one foot in front of the other kind, especially when words become meaningless and insane. All that I thought I needed to live…have proven to be illusions. There is no hidden, good self, waiting to be born or to awaken. It either lives, now, or is a deception. Have always been awake, have understood what it means to care, etc, and I kept assuming that was true of others…in contrast to their actions…I kept assuming, for instance that I could bring the “walking dead”—so to speak–back to life somehow, perhaps through love or compassion…et that mmakes me…not a fool…but incomparaably worse…another walking corpse, feeding off humanity.

    You witnessed the fallout of my own painful recognition. I can recognize myself…I cannot recognize another’s self into existence. The other’s self is always present, but not always pleasant to recognize.

    Thanks for sharing a “space” here where I could show myself what I needed to see, tell myself what I needed to see….Turns out, I needed a lot of these spaces, scattered among virtual and “irl” places and people, until I was able to take a “stand “…today, actually…to freely choose living rather than surviving…

    ((HUGS))

    • I’m glad to hear that using all the available resources got into a place of claiming your space and living your life, Ruby. The fact that you speak of choice makes it apparent to me that you have come a long way – possibly even all the way. Here’s to hoping the new life episode will give you everything you need and everything you feel you should have. 🙂

  5. Packing my books, I came across “Knots” by r.d. Laing, which I found helpful in regard to the discourse loops or patterns which create much of that sense of “something wrong with me” revealing the crazymaking “knots” from which others cannot be rescued if keeping the knots in place simultaneously offers them social privilege…it isn’t that they are not a real person or self…but that their selfhood is so heavily invested in the “knots”…until they can more fully feel/identify with the pain and suffering that their participation in the knotted discourse inflicts on others and self…then there seems to be no way to participate without being used as a silent bystander or else being perceived as “crazy” for attempting to expose the destructive patterns…

    Please know i have a couple people I can call who get this dillemma….they live far away, but still…having a human connection to reach for when I feel helpless is like sanctuary, in a way. Kinda like being able to share here…

    For THIS part of recovery is…like your posts suggest…really about embracing a new self/social identity whereby I get to be myself, rather than being “the broken one”…or the silent colluder…

    Hugs..

    So, for me, there is Real Life (yay!) after dumpimg a pathologized identity…and so far it is quite unlike anything I envisioned. I try to remember that the meaning of it all—this process—–is not set in stone, but becomes more evident as times passes….

    Hope you are well… 🙂

  6. Yay, taking a position of action and experiencing for yourself instead of standing by, watching or being a sounding board – I’d say that’s a pretty healthy sounding choice as far as I’m concerned. 🙂

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