Ok. So I understand I’m an addict. Addicted to food and booze for now for lack of easier accessible, more efficient drugs (some of which might get easily produced by the brain from a good, genuine hug, some intimate quality time, not requiring but neither precluding “horizontal” time, a caring word uttered directly to my face… the list goes on). The bottomline is this: Plants need sunlight to grow and people need love. Plain and simple. Ok, there might be one twist to this: They need unconditional love. Love of a kind that doesn’t hinge on “I’ll scratch your back, you’ll scratch mine” and vice versa. Unconditional as in: I’ve got so much love in me, I’m lousy with love, so here I’m spending it all on you – for no other reason but for you simply being here, looking me in the eye and making me realize that the same lump of molecules that was in my uterus a couple of weeks ago is now looking at me!). And I hear that’s pretty much a given with most anybody else on the planet – or was I mistaken?
Be that as it may. I’m still applying for a part in “Validation Season”. And boy, do I get creative in scouting and working those scenarios that might yield me that! Validation. Wow! No capitalist, family-heir-I-suck-my-own-dick-coz-I-can corporation’s owner could even dream of the degree of self-exploitation I regularly “treat” myself to in order to get my “fix”! As a matter of fact, the human rights council would have long intervened on any of my endeavours by now, had they gotten word of them.
I’m still doing it. Flattening any boundaries I’ve identified as healthy ones for myself in order to get my kick: Validation. No effort, no amount or degree of pain can ever be a too high one to invest in order to get me there: Validation. The big V. (no, not vagina – that’s easy. :P)
Yup. I’m a sucker for it. For as long as my body supports it….