Half Of Young Men Sexually Coerced. (sorry, wordpress.com kept “snuffing” the embedded video, so I have to just put the link here. Pls. click on the link to see the video clip)
I have to issue another trigger warning with posting this one. By some happenstance I landed on this podcast of a TV interview with male victims of sexual abuse in their childhood and having developed emotional illnesses and disabilities from these experiences. The discussion addresses assumptions – or rather: misconceptions – concerning male vs. female sexuality. They also make a point about the stigma attached to certain offences, in particular with male victims, which create an atmosphere that makes it hard to almost impossible to come forward with the endured violations and speak about them. Oftentimes the victims find themselves trapped in a situation, where they don’t have anyone they can feel safe with and turn to, which makes for a number of repressed feelings that may or may not come out much later in life. In my case, it is only now, decades later that I have started to speak about these things, largely on here, because I’ve also encountered the stigma attached to the victim as – in part – having brought about this themselves or at the very least being unwilling to “just move on and get past the past” (On this note, allow me to briefly digress: When past experiences are firmly attached to the reflexes in the limbic system of the brain [i.e. that’s the ancient, “reptilian” brain which triggers most fear-based reflexes like the commonly known fight/flight/freeze/fawn reflexes], cognitive interception simply isn’t a choice to be made – as it is impossible to “choose” a different reflex than the one that’s hard wired into the human brain. This may be one reason, why CBT/DBT approaches don’t work with trauma – quite on the contrary: If trauma survivors hadn’t already found coping strategies on their own, none of us could have had an – at least partially – productive life. And in my experience and from having communicated with similarly affected individualys like myself, most of us have still achieved that in spite of the disabling trauma-related outcomes). I am still a captive of that situation and don’t really know, whom to talk to as I can’t seem to find avenues that might offer some relief – like e.g. specialized trauma therapy – that are accessible to me (only in an inpatient setting, which might act as a major potential trigger in my case, thus thwarting the very idea of finding help and potentially adding a lot more stress, where I can’t handle any more stress than I’m already dealing with).
It might be difficult to watch this, but the guest speakers make some excellent points and new insights – or at least corroboration of identified ones – might come from this. Which is why I’m sharing this.