Manifesting the Mind: Footprints of the Shaman (2009) [Full Documentary] – YouTube

This was an eye-opener! It’s a lengthy piece, but very educating and hence worth taking the time to watch IMO. It confirmed my lingering semi-decision to largely turn my back on the Western medical system as far as treatment for C-PTSD is concerned. I particularly resent their latent “high ground” in the patient-doctor relationships, something I have come across numerous times and something that could trigger a near-psychotic response in me, if I had to experience that again. One of the so-called trauma experts I contacted per the (diagnosing) clinic’s recommendation started our preliminary telephone interview by insisting to learn, whether I had really not worked since 2008. WTF? Are you fucking kidding me? Shit like this keeps happening to me more often than not.

I am going to continue hypnotherapy sessions for as long as my most trusted and revered therapist friend is ready to see me. I’d like to run the idea past him that we introduce a focus on preparing me for the use of psychoactive substances. I’d love to volunteer as a lab rat, if such a program was available to me. Maybe I’ll ramp up my research in this field in order to enter this phase legally. While I understand that the effects of such drugs are largely psychological in nature, I’d still also hope for productive/healing (side-) effects concerning the physical symptoms, where hyperarousal and hypervigilance are the most debilitating and which I believe to be at the core of all other symptoms and so-called co-morbidities.

I also understand that there is a super-high risk involved for me in potentially “tipping over” for good, i.e. me suffering from a panic attack for several hours that might be so hard on the system that it either leaves me in a catatonic state afterwards or that I simply die from my system being stressed too hard. It is hence all the more important to make sure, I get prepared for something like this and that set and setting will feel as safe and calming as possible. Nonetheless – I’d much rather opt for this than for ECT, something I have been deliberating again as of late.

Manifesting the Mind: Footprints of the Shaman (2009) [Full Documentary] – YouTube.


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