40 Followers – Thank You!

wnI just noticed that the 40th follower connected to this blog. Thank you for reading my entries! I am working on making my blogs gravitate towards better information, hopefully more encouragement and uplifting messages at some point. I realize that the major part of recurring frustration comes from having to deal with a system that seems set on not helping, but giving me and similarly affected an even harder time than we already have. Maybe I’m still naive in believing the medical system was about helping in the first place, when all indicators seem to point towards another way of feeding off the needy and making money from them.

I just received a link to an inspirational, but also informative documentary on a fasting project of 60-days of juicing. As Kimberly has pointed out several times, being considerate with one’s diet seems to contribute a lot to the healing process. I have already altered my diet for good in 2005 by eliminating all dairy, wheat flour, gluten, soy, vinegar seeds, egg yolk and as of late eliminating alcohol and any use of tobacco smoke or any smoke – completely. I get the feeling, I could be a lot better if I could socialize more often and on a semi-regular basis at the very least. Or work together on inspiring projects. As to the latter, I might have one or two things in the making soon. One major recent insight is that I’m not a recluse by nature, but not exactly a 24-7 socializer, either. Finding the right balance is key, but currently not possible due to lack of money and lack of options of making extra money legally. (that’s right – I can’t make extra money to boost my meager funds by taking on a part time job or such. The money I make would be taken from me twice – no kidding. For every extra Euro, the system wants two back from me. It’s just insane). But anyways: I am realizing that I will have to continue to do the healing largely on my own. There is one trusted doctor friend, whom I’ve asked for some more help and picking up where we left off with some new insights I got between then and now. I’m looking forward to a short series of sessions with him.

Getting the use of medical marijuana approved for myself is next on the to do list. It’s probably going to require some paperwork. I’m all willing and ready to give them whatever they want, if they just let me try and use cannabis in order to check, whether my anxiety will benefit from it.

Once I feel more stable and emotionally “self sustaining”, I’ll look into ways of making some income I get to keep, thus hopefully and gradually  coming back to making my own money instead of having to depend on the system. The latter is still some miles off, but I feel the resolve coming back to get up on my feet and have a life again.

Thanks for joining me in this journey. I appreciate it! 🙂

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