I have been consumed by an ocean of despair, anxiety and confusion over the last few years as every single concept I had held on to fell apart and vanished as it if had never existed. Amongst that confusion was my fear to lose my connection with “The Muse” and music in particular for good as it had become largely inaccessible.
I’m now beginning to understand that THE QUEST is at the core of a new episode in my life. I don’t exactly know, how this search for authenticity and for truths beyond my ego and self is going to shape my life. And not knowing or being able to look ahead has always fallen on grounds of trauma endured in the very beginning of my physical manifestation on this planet.
Through the help of some dedicated and compassionate companions, by using my analytical mind to delve into profound research, through perseverance that bordered on stubbornness and through the gift of retrieving the parts of me that got buried along the way, I feel I can enter a realm that seemed unattainable. It will mean breaking new ground for myself and having to rely on trust, the latter being the scariest of all, intimidating me to near unconsciousness. But I will learn to place one step after the other, drawing strength from the process as I go along and breaking my new self in like a pair of carefully crafted leather boots. I’m not sure, what to feel about this. For now, it’s simply something that needs to be done.
update: The site, where I found the picture, is bullshit. But the pic looks nice.