Ok. A warning first: If you, who are reading this little blurb, are currently in a place of misery and hurt, don’t follow the link or watch the clip and don’t read on. Because you will be triggered in most awful ways and I don’t want that to happen to you.
I myself had to push myself in order to make it through the entire clip and not click away in the middle of it. For there were times I have been consumed with the urge of meaning to retaliate – and have. And when I realized I had hit and not missed, at the worst of my times, I felt temporary relief and a sense of … well … satisfaction is too strong a word, but something along those lines. While I’m typing this, I realize that the part of me feeling all those things is clearly not being my very best or moving towards my Higher Self or anything along those lines.
However, I’m very happy to find that I’m in a different place now. But – I still remember what it was like not to be in this place and having to deal with the outpouring of all kinds of negative – and thus also self destructive – feelings. If I had sat down there with this group of audience, when this clip was recorded, I might have discussed with NDW afterwards that there is a process involved and that given that process one may or may not be able to be in that place he advocates here. (I take it from his considerate wording, though, that he himself is aware of the process, although that is not the focus of his talk here and although he doesn’t address it much as far as I see). So – cracking this nut is a tough one to do IMHO. And for some people it may never happen in their lifetime depending on what happened in their past(s) and what opportunities they were given to come around from that. (Yeah, yeah, I know, I know – we’re all creators of our reality and opportunities are not “given”, but chosen. According to my own experiences I find that it depends on the level of awareness and place of the journey you’re in whether or not you’re able – or rather: willing – to see things in this way).
And another thing: While I am now better able to open up to the concept elaborated on here and do my best to apply it to my own path – which again, is a process … – I find one aspect to be missing in this monolog: Moving to the “space beyond forgiveness” as NDW calls it may be one thing. And addressing the perpetrator(s) coming from that place is another and may or may not lead to establishing a new kind of relationship, particularly so, when those who have inflicted great pain and injuries have passed on. In other words and for sake of completeness, I’d add that I don’t find there to be a need to establish any kind of relationship with the perpetrators, if the levels of awareness differ. In yet different words, if the perpetrators don’t show any interest in moving on themselves, I’d conclude all you can do is to embrace this kind of deep understanding advocated for in the clip, but then also walk away from those who have caused you all that pain and massive injuries. Maybe walking away is even too much effort on your part – simply letting them be is probably more accurate a thing to say and do in this context. Doing so may be easily interpreted as being selfish and lacking compassion. No, I don’t think so. I think it’s actually an act of protecting your old and current self and protecting the process from being sabotaged, the sabotage coming from potentially being pulled into old patterns of perpetrator and victim. Whenever you find yourself subject to being pulled into old patterns, I’d vouch for walking away – and being o.k. with yourself for doing so. If someone else wasn’t able to respect you and love you for the bigger person in you, it’s them missing out on a wonderful opportunity. It was their choice in the first place. And you should be o.k. to make better choices instead of partaking in a scheme that does nothing else but keeping two – or more – spirits from unfolding their true potential and – if we must… – divinity.
I do agree on the idea of releasing old grudges and dissolving the pain endured then – if necessary at all, because if you’ve done the work, you’re already in a place, where something like what happened in your past is no longer a thing your current self would tolerate any longer. You’d either not be offended by it or you’d be likely to find efficient ways of removing yourself from the situation in a way that doesn’t involve fighting back. However, I also think that letting the perpetrators know that they are doing a wrong thing is expressing greater compassion for them than to allow them to go on – if such behaviour is an option to begin with. Unfortunately, it is part of the nature of such situations that the perpetrated often don’t have an option to remove themselves from the situation at the time of perpetration.
In a nutshell and in other words: Putting yourself first now and being concerned with your own progress with or without
considering including those, who sent you on this trip to begin with, should be o.k. Being o.k. with yourself making new choices and such choices maybe involving the need to put space between ‘them’ – whoever they are or were – and yourself is an important step in the process of healing, I’d say. Wonder, what NDW would have to say about that… 🙂
update: I think, this is useless crap. It doesn’t get me anywhere.